The Annoying Part of Self Awareness

Thanks to mindful awareness I flossed my teeth last night.

I know, doing something that’s good for my health probably shouldn’t be considered annoying. But I assure you, when I started brushing my teeth I didn’t want to floss at all. My inner dialogue went something like this:

– “Do I feel like flossing tonight?” (Aside: The answer to this is no about 90% of the time but I do it anyway or else my dentist will be mad.)

– “No. It’s already past my bedtime. And I don’t floss when I’m up past my bedtime.”

– “But it’ll only take like a minute max. C’mon.”

– “No, I’m tired. And then I’ll have to mouthwash. It’s way too much.”

– “What about that trick where you only floss one tooth…”

– “Yeah, I know it’s a trick. That’s why I’m not going to do it. You’re going to make me floss all of them.”

– “Yep. So what? It’s good for you. What reasons do you have for not flossing again?”

– “I…just…don’t want to right now.”

– “…And?”

– “Well…it’s annoying to floss… OK I guess… Fine. Flossing.”

And at that point I couldn’t figure out if my willpower won or was defeated. I’m still not sure. Was I hoping to actually floss or to do nothing?

My brain was hijacked by my own awareness. Somehow I had answers to my protestations already prepared. And now my gums are healthier because of it.

Like I said, annoying.